Why toxic positivity is a leadership problem

Optimism is powerful. But when it’s forced, fake, or unrelenting, it stops being helpful and starts doing harm.

Toxic positivity is the pressure to always be upbeat, even in the face of stress, failure, or hardship. 

While it often comes from a well-meaning place, leaders who model it (intentionally or not) can erode trust, stifle feedback, and burn out their teams.

This is a leadership issue, and if you're a founder or manager, it’s your responsibility to spot it, own it, and fix it.

Let’s look at what toxic positivity looks like in the workplace (especially from the top), why it backfires, and how to avoid it. 

Let’s start with what it looks like in practice.

When positivity turns toxic

Not all positivity is toxic. But when it shuts down space for honest conversations, it’s a problem. 

Here’s how it often shows up at work…

• ‘Let’s stay positive’ after someone raises a concern
• Celebrating resilience without acknowledging the cost
• Downplaying burnout, layoffs, or project failures
• Avoiding negative feedback under the guise of protecting morale
• Encouraging gratitude instead of addressing real issues

When these behaviours come from leadership, the message is clear: discomfort is unwelcome. That’s a fast track to disengagement.

Essentially, positivity becomes toxic when it ignores reality or silences people. The more power you hold, the more damage it can do.

“Toxic positivity is the denial of authentic human experience. It dismisses real emotions and forces people to pretend everything is fine even when it isn’t.” - Dr Jamie Zuckerman, clinical psychologist and mental health expert.

The hidden costs of toxic positivity

It might seem harmless to encourage staying upbeat and focusing on the good. 

Over time though, toxic positivity creates a culture of emotional dishonesty.

Here’s what’s really happening under the surface:

• Employees stop speaking up. If raising concerns is met with encouragement to stay positive, people shut down. Psychological safety disappears.
• Stress goes underground. When people feel they can’t express negative emotions, they internalise them. That leads to burnout, anxiety, and presenteeism.
• Trust erodes. Teams start to feel their leaders are out of touch or dishonest. When reality does hit, it feels like a betrayal.
• Performance suffers. Honest feedback is essential for growth. If positivity becomes a shield against hard truths, teams stagnate.

Take Google’s Project Aristotle, for example. After studying 180 high-performing teams, Google found that the number one predictor of team success wasn’t seniority, tenure or even talent. 

It was psychological safety, the freedom to speak up without fear of embarrassment or punishment.

Toxic positivity directly undermines this by making people feel they must stay upbeat instead of speaking candidly.

In 2021, Basecamp’s leadership tried to suppress internal discussions around social issues to ‘stay focused and positive’. 

The move was framed as avoiding negativity, but led to major resignations and PR fallout.

“If you deny the reality of hardship, you also deny people the dignity of their experience.” - Dr Susan David, psychologist and author of Emotional Agility

Why leaders fall into the trap

Toxic positivity isn’t always obvious from the inside. Founders and managers often default to it for understandable reasons:

• You’re trying to keep morale high
• You’re scared that honesty may lead to panic
• You think it’s your job to always look strong
• You’re optimistic by nature and assume everyone else is, too

The truth is that leaders set the tone. If you’re uncomfortable with vulnerability, your team will be too. 

When people don’t feel safe being real, they won’t bring their full selves to the table.

Positivity isn’t leadership. Presence is. Your team doesn’t need a cheerleader, they need a human.

“Suppressing negative emotions at work doesn’t just affect well-being. It leads to worse decisions, lower creativity, and less productivity.” - Dr Emma Seppälä, Yale lecturer and author of The Happiness Track

What better leadership looks like

The antidote to toxic positivity isn’t negativity, it’s emotional realism. That means being honest about what’s hard while staying hopeful and supportive.

Here’s how to model it:

• Name the hard things. Be the first to acknowledge what’s difficult. It gives your team permission to do the same.
  

• Validate feelings before fixing them. You don’t need to solve everything straight away. Sometimes people just need to feel heard.
  

• Be transparent but grounded. Avoid sugar-coating. Instead, share what you know, what you don’t, and what’s being done.
  

• Invite honest input. Ask for the truth and reward it. Don’t just tolerate criticism, thank people for it. If something isn’t working, you need to hear about it.

• Show your own humanity, share your own challenges (appropriately). It builds connection and trust.

Real leadership is emotionally intelligent. It doesn’t shy away from difficulty, it meets it with empathy and clarity.

“When leaders are transparent about challenges, they create a culture where employees feel safe to do the same. That’s what psychological safety is all about.” - Amy Edmondson, professor at Harvard Business School and author of The Fearless Organization

Final thoughts

A healthy workplace isn’t one where people are always happy, it’s one where they’re safe to be honest.

That starts with you.

If you're a founder, CEO or manager, check your reflexes. Are you leaning on forced optimism when things get uncomfortable? Or are you creating space for real conversations?

Your team doesn’t need positivity. They need you to show up, tell the truth, and lead with empathy.